Cuatro meses.
Hace cuatro meses entró en mi vida.
Apareció así de repente, sin previo aviso, y me hizo sentir cosas que jamás pensé sentir.
Y es que Valentina era así. Me hacía sentir mariposas en la panza. Me hacía imaginarme un mundo con ella. Y, siendo sinceros, siempre me agradó la idea.
Hubieron dos personas a las que les confié la existencia de Vale –aparte de mi fiel R, por supuesto-: J y G.
Ni J ni G estuvieron de acuerdo con la relación.
J decía que no sabía en lo que me estaba metiendo y G, aunque dudó un poco, concluyó que lo mejor era que me apartara de ella.
No es que les quiera echar la culpa de nada. Fue mi decisión dejarla. Yo y solo yo decidí ser una cobarde y terminar con lo que pudo ser una relación maravillosa.
Un sábado por la noche fue mi primer intento por dejarla. Pero no pude. Vale, necia y obstinada –creo que en eso nos parecemos harto- decidió quedarse a mi lado. Ella sabía que yo no quería dejarla, que lo hacía porque era –sigo siendo- una mocosa cojuda y manipulable.
Pero yo no me rendí. El jueves siguiente le pedí –le rogué, le supliqué- que se vaya de mi vida. Nunca me podré perdonar todo el dolor que le causé. Literalmente la arranqué de mí, la abandoné, la maté.
Hoy me siento muy sola y no está Vale para consolarme. Hoy tendríamos cuatro meses juntas.
Hoy –no lo sé, nunca lo sabré- seriamos felices.
Vale, mi amor, si algún día lees esto: lo siento. Te amo y te extraño muchísimo. Perdóname.
123 comentarios:
Me has dejado sin palabras... es muy triste alejarse de alguien que quieres... pero a veces sucede que somos aun muy jovenes, inseguros y manipulables... espero Vale pueda leer tu post y entenderte...
Yo tambien escribo un blog... me encanta que puedas leer algo de lo que escribo. Un beso y suerte.
http://unwinding-thoughts.blogspot.com/
no pienso decirte lo que pienso porque tu lo sabes, pero no supe q te afecto tanto. A veces nos damos cuenta tarde del efecto de nuestras decisiones pero eso debe servir para cuando tomemos nuevas decisiones sepamos las consecuencias. No pienso en darte un discurso de moralidad ni nada porque tu no lo escucharias ni te importaria pero quiero que sepas que a pesar q Vale no esta contigo, si estuviera, le hubiera gustado q tu lucharas para ser feliz y sabes lo que eso implica. A nadie le gusta ver sufrir a quien quiere, si no lo haces por ti, hazlo por ella.
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